What the Bagboy is really thinking........

Oh God, here comes that lady with those STUPID cloth bags. What does she think, they're all like, ecologically good or something? I hate those damn things. No one ever taught me how to bag with them, and they fall over when I try to use them cause there's no nifty stand like they have for the plastic bags. Well, maybe I can really piss this lady off by asking the same question ten times. "So you want everything in the bags? "Yes, please." "You want the jug of vegetable oil in a bag?" "Yes, I do." "You want the cat food in a bag?" "I want everything in a bag." "How about the toilet paper? You want that in a bag?" "Yes!!!" "The giant box of trash bags?" "I WANT EVERY SINGLE THING PUT IN A BAG!!!" There.....I think I got her sufficiently pissed off for the time being. Now....let's see. Oh look, she's got everything so nicely organized on the counter.....all the produce together, all the freezer stuff together. You gotta be kidding. I think I'll put this mouthwash in with the steak. Maybe one carton of ice cream should go with the canned goods and the other can go in with the cans of vegetables. Oh and this should be good. Since this bag has short little handles, I'll stuff it with all the very heavy stuff ....that way her hand will cramp while she tries to carry it to the car. And since this bag has long handles so she could put the bag over her shoulder, I"ll just put two bags of chips in that one. That way she can bang the bag against the doorjamb as she tries to get it into the house and crush all her chips. And for my grand finale, I'll take the heaviest bag and put it in the front seat of the cart. That way, if she has some greeting cards in that bag she brought over from Walgreen's they'll be all crushed and crinkled when she gets them home. Have a nice day!