Thursday, May 7, 2009

Mother's Day Conundrum

What do you do when there are just too many people to visit on Mother's Day? Sincerely, it's a huge blessing to have so many people who are loved and who love you. But....it makes it quite difficult to make every special day really "special" for those people.
I'm talking about the problem my son, Doug and his wife, Kara, have at almost every holiday. Too many places to go.....to many people to see.
Doug and Kara are the parents of my grandbaby Emily. So Kara is a Mom, right? And she deserves to have a nice Mother's Day. But the list of people they should visit it staggering:
1. Kara's own mother.
2. Doug's mother (me)
3. Kara's grandmother (who's in a nursing home).
4. Doug's grandmother (my mother who is right now in the hospital.......a long story for another blog)
5. Doug's other grandmother - my ex's mother - who just lost her husband.
How can two people and a baby who needs a nap in the middle of the afternoon get to visit 5 mothers/grandmothers in one day? They can't.
And I told Doug that. He just can't. And I really don't mind. I'm not one to demand my kids come visit me with flowers and candy on special days. (although candy is acceptable at any time!) I know they love me. They know I love them. I see them often. I invite them for dinner and babysit for them and see them on other special occasions. It would sincerely make me happier to know they got to stay home and enjoy their baby and that Kara gets to enjoy her Mother's Day.
How do you all feel about that? Do you expect your children to come visit on the special day? Does your mom/mother-in-law/grandmother expect you to visit? And how do you handle visiting so many in one day?

5 comments:

Me said...

Its not the most popular way to do it..but we spread the events out. We start on Friday by celebrating with either his or my mom, followed by Saturday with whoever we haven't seen and then Sunday is MY day. Selfish? Probably. But I think its only fair. I ALWAYS make sure to call my mom ON MOTHERS DAY as well.

Woman with kids said...

I think you're making a great choice. My kids are still kids, but we've learned to either share holidays (my birthday and father's day are together) or just do it when it's convenient. Making it a stressful demand doesn't help anyone.

amelia said...

Oh I so wish my mom would say this :) We have a dinner Saturday with the in-laws who flew in town, a dinner Sunday with my mom, then we have to visit one grandma and the other isn't getting a Mother's Day visit. It's my first Mother's Day and I'm completely overwhelmed!

heidilou said...

This Sunday I'll be driving 3 hours each way to babysit my grandson so that my daughter can go with her live-in boyfriend to his mother's funeral. That's the ultimate sucky way to spend Mother's Day - attending your mother's funeral. I'm glad I'll get to see my baby-baby. I haven't seen him since Easter.

Joan said...

As usual, I agree with you! Every year I tell my kids (one lives in CO and one in OH) to NOT worry about presents or visits or whatever -- but to save the cash and go do something FUN they wouldn't normally do. They always call, and/or send a card, and that's good enough for me. I'm just not a stickler on the "you must visit me on THIS day" thing...