What do you do with this person?

What do you do with this person who works in an office of five people in one big room? She knows everything. If you question her knowledge she flips out. She interrupts every story you tell with a "better" story. She boasts constantly about the great job she does. She tells you over and over again about how qualified and experienced she is. She claims to be related to/friends with/ used to work for, etc.....every person in the world. She takes dozens of personal calls per day while you have to answer her phone and take a message when she's on another line. She asks you to do her mailings, her end-of-day balancing, etc. and then complains that she needs a secretary. She doesn't do a single thing to help close the office at the end of the day. She makes derogatory remarks about everyone.....especially people of other race. She makes fun of the sweetest person in the office. She tells stories about everyone else who works in the company. She accuses you often of being good friends with the boss. She manages to get Internet Services to wipe out her history on her computer so she doesn't get into trouble for being on Facebook all day. She swears while talking on the phone even when there are customers in the office. Help.