Friday, July 24, 2009

Oh Dear, Dear, Dear

Dear Work Computer, I really can't remember all the usernames and passwords I need to get on all the sites I need at work. Just because I'm too lazy to go look up my passwords, and I put the wrong one in three times in a row, does NOT mean you should lock me out. This means I have to call IT and admit that I've done it again. Signed, Lazy Office Worker Dear Residents of Salem, NH, Don't any of you work on a Friday afternoon? It's very annoying to have to struggle through traffic and crowds of people to do my shopping when it's my only afternoon off and I have things to do. Sincerely, Cranky Shopper Dear Walmart, When you sell shorts and tops seperately, itw ould be awfully nice if you had some tops that matcht the shorts. Your forced me to walk around and around the ladies' department looking for a top that would match the really cool hunter green shorts I found. Sincerely, Loves, Garanimals. Dear Lady at Supercuts, I came in to get a gift for my sister-in-law. I did not appreciate your "help". When I say "I don't know" four or five times, that probably means I don't know. Just give me what I came in for and let me go on my way. Yet Again, Cranky Shopper Dear Old Lady Outside Kmart, You were seriously just coming out the door of the store and had a good ten feet of sidewalk to cross before coming anywhere near my car. I swear I would never have run you over....I have old ladies of my own in my life and I am always very careful. There was really no reason to yell at me. Signed, Old Lady Lover Dear Market Basket Shoppers, Driving a shopping cart is just like driving a car. Stay to the right. And would you abandon your car in the middle of the road to go off and look at something cool you saw three streets back? No? Then don't do that with the cart either. Sincerely, Careful Cart Driver Dear Mothers, It wouldn't kill you to clean your child's face before bringing them out in public. Seriously, I know it's just Market Basket but they deserve some dignity. While you're at it, keep the little buggers in the cart and don't allow them to go careening around the store. I might "accidentally" hit them with my cart if they run in front of me. Signed, Mean Old Lady Dear Karen, How come you didn't remember to get quarters at the grocery store when it was writtn in gigantic letters at the top of your list? Were you unconciously trying to forget that you have to do laundry this afternoon? Now you either have to 1) get back in the car and go get some quarters or 2) Put off doing laundry until Sunday. I know you will go for option #2 because you are a lazy bum and will not go back out into the mayhem. Sincerely, Lazy Karen Dear Blogspot, I tried to put a line through one word. Why did you put a line through every single word in the whole rest of the blog? And then why wouldn't you let me take that out? I was forced to re-type my whole post. You can just imagine how much I appreciated that. Signed, Tired of Typing Dear Hubby, Thank Goodness we have a "stay at home" night tonight. I'll kick your butt at "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?" You promised to make me your mouth-watering fried chicken. And maybe a nice backrub too? Your Everloving Wife


tag vennard said...

Dear wife
you get the chicken
you get the backrub
you deserve it!
grateful hubby

Emily said...

You just made me choke! The one about the old lady at KMart? Priceless!

Joan said...

Too too funny. You almost made coffee come out my nose when I snorted at the grocery cart letter. Man oh man, I HATE it when people leave their carts in the middle of the aisle like they are the only ones who matter! Great post. And love your husband's response/comment too.