Damn the New Year's Resolutions

Yea, yea.....I know it's that time of year again. Tomorrow is the last day of 2009 (WTF!) and shortly thereafter begins 2010. Unbelievable. When I was a kid, 1984 was the future, man. So what the hell is 2010? But I digress. Resolutions. We all feel the need to make them. None of us EVER keep them. No.....we don't. And if you're sitting there all holier-than-thou saying, "I did!"....prove it! My usual list of resolutions includes: 1. The universal resolution of "losing weight". Uh-huh. Who can do that with all the extraneous Holiday candy, cookies, cakes and assorted junk food still laying around? 2. Not biting my nails. But my nails are awful.....they curl over the ends of my fingers and look horrible when I let them grow long. I'm really doing them a service by biting them down to the nubs. 3. Being more Patient. HA! Patience is my middle name.....not! Mostly, I have no patience with people.....cause they're idiots. They don't deserve my patience. 4. Watching less TV. I might actually achieve this one. Because God knows there's nothing on TV despite having a gazillion channels to chose from. That is....until my favorites - Survivor, Amazing Race, etc. - start their new seasons. By that time, the mandatory two week period of "really, really trying to achieve my resolution" will be over and I'll be in the clear to continue to be the couch potato I really want to be. There's only one resolution that I think is important enough to really try to accomplish. And that is to stay in touch with my friends and family. There it is. My resolution. And I promise I'll try my best to keep it.