Physical Education

I was a PE teacher at the middle school today. I have to say, those kids don't do much "physical" during Physical Education. The class period is 50 minutes long. They go to the locker room and change. They come up and jog around the gym for 2 minutes (literally - it's timed on the clock). Then the teachers take attendance. They spend a good 10-15 minutes organizing the kids. I don't know if it's because I was subbing.....apparently I am incapable of having the kids in my class play some sort of game....because the other two gym teachers (male) put all THREE classes together. We had approximately 80 kids. In one gym. So sorting them out for relay races went something like this; (This can be my list for the day) 1. All boys on one sideline and all girls on the other. (shuffle, shuffle, shuffle as they decided if they're boys or girls) 2. Count off to eight. First the boys...then the girls. I offered during one class to count off the girls while the other teacher counted off the boys.....no thank you. 3. All the #1 boys come stand in this spot....wait while they get there....now the #2 boys stand on this spot....wait again....(you get the picture). Now the same with the girls. All the way up to the #8's. 4. Now the first person in each line count the number of kids in their line. If the numbers weren't even....(how in the world could they NOT be? Kids forget their numbers) the teacher had to rearrange teams so they'd be even. 5. Arrange yourself in line boy, girl, boy, girl. (Again wait while they figure out their gender) 6. Now half of each team should go stand on the other end of the gym and re-form your line so you're facing your team-mates.....so we can do a relay. 7. Recount and make sure the teams are even. 8. We are ready to play. BUT WAIT - we are organized to play but not ready yet. Because now the teacher has to spend at least 5-7 minutes explaining what he wants them to do. The first relay is..... 1. Walk backwards to the mid-court line (2 minute explanation on the difference between walking backward and running backward.) 2. Jump rope 10x on the line (2 minute explanation on how to jump rope as well as how NOT to trip over the rope as you are holding it in your hand while walking backward) 3. Walk heel-to-toe to your team-mate and pass the jumprope. (2-3 minute explanation on walking heel-to-toe....good practice for being on COPS) Now we are ready to play. The relay runs about 5 minutes for all kids to get through it. However, since a relay is defined as TAKING TURNS .....most kids are really just standing there waiting while one kid on the team walks and jumps for all of 30 seconds. So far each child has jogged for 2 minutes at the beginning of class and run the relay for 30 seconds. They do a second relay, with all the attendant info. Now each child has run another 30 seconds. Altogether, each child expended 3 minutes of exercise and now it's time to back to the locker room and change. 3 minutes out of a 50 minute period. I think we should call it "Stand and Do Nothing Education".