Saturday, May 8, 2010
It's just a day........right?
I've thought so much about Mother's Day this year. Actually, I've been dreading it. Not that I don't think about my Mom every single day, but somehow, as Mother's Day approaches, I've thought about her so much more. And I miss her. More than I thought possible. I realize now that right after she died, I must have been numb. People asked about her, we talked about her, and I was okay with that. But now that time has passed, and I've experienced what life is like without her......I'm so sad. In past years, Mother's Day was a day for family. We all went over to Mom's house and visited for the afternoon. It was fun to be with my brothers and sister and all our kids, giving the proper respect to the woman who raised us so well. But now we've lost our center. I've lost my reason to celebrate this day. I just want to get through it and past it and ignore it. I don't want to feel the sadness I know I'm going to. I try to tell myself "it's just another day". It only has the meaning we, as a society, have given it. But I know that it's always been a very special day.......a day to show my Mother how much I love her. I can't do that in person now. I'll have to do it in the way I live my life.........by following her example and being the kind of person she raised me up to be. I hope I can make her proud. I love you, Mom. And as much as I'll try to avoid it, I'll be thinking of you every minute of the day tomorrow.