Entering the parking lot:
#1. Move your FAT BUTT along as you cross the parking lot. Strolling along and chatting on your cell phone just makes me want to hit you.
#2. Hold your children's hands in the parking lot. Letting them run around like banshees is only going to give me a heart attack.
#3. While driving down the aisle searching for a spot, stay to the RIGHT. It's just like driving.
#4. When you are crossing and are not in a crosswalk, don't give ME a dirty look when I don't stop to let you cross.
#5. Do not stop in the middle of the entrance and let your able-bodied wife, girlfriend, or whatever out of the car. It just makes me want to "accidentally" ram the back of your car.
Inside the store:
#6. When you must stand and stare at the grocery shelves while you contemplate what to buy...MOVE OVER.
#7. When I move your cart so I can get through, don't give ME a dirty look.
#8. When pushing your cart down an aisle, stay to the RIGHT. It's just like driving.
#9. If you let your children run around like banshees in the store, it's not my fault if I accidentally hit one of them with my cart.
At the register:
#10. Don't chat with the cashier. He/she cannot run the groceries over the scanner and talk at the same time.
#11. When I say I want everything in the cloth bags, I do mean EVERYTHING. Yes to the catfood. Yes to the giant package of TP. Yes to the laundry detergent.
#12. When I say no I do not want anything in little plastic bags, I do mean EVERYTHING. No to the meats. No to the ice cream. No to the Produce.
Leaving the store:
All the same parking lot rules as entering the store. In addition:
#13. Do not beep at me when I am sitting at a red light arrow and it says "No Turn on Red Arrow". Especially when I have seen 3 different people pulled over by the police for ignoring that sign.