Karen's Rules for Grocery Shopping AKA- My semi-annual rant against idiotic people

Entering the parking lot:

#1.    Move your FAT BUTT along as you cross the parking lot.  Strolling along and chatting on your cell phone just makes me want to hit you.

#2.   Hold your children's hands in the parking lot.  Letting them run around like banshees is only going to give me a  heart attack.

#3.  While driving down the aisle searching for a spot, stay to the RIGHT.  It's just like driving.

#4.  When you are crossing and are not in a crosswalk, don't give ME a dirty look when I don't stop to let you cross.

#5.  Do not stop in the middle of the entrance and let your able-bodied wife, girlfriend, or whatever out of the car.  It just makes me want to "accidentally" ram the back of your car.

Inside the store:

#6.  When you must stand and stare at the grocery shelves while you contemplate what to buy...MOVE OVER.

#7.  When I move your cart so I can get through, don't give ME a dirty look.

#8.  When pushing your cart down an aisle, stay to the RIGHT.  It's just like driving.

#9.  If you let your children run around like banshees in the store, it's not my fault if I accidentally hit one of them with my cart.

At the register:

#10.  Don't chat with the cashier.  He/she cannot run the groceries over the scanner and talk at the same time.

#11.  When I say I want everything in the cloth bags, I do mean EVERYTHING.  Yes to the catfood.  Yes to the giant package of TP.  Yes to the laundry detergent.

#12.  When I say no I do not want anything in little plastic bags, I do mean EVERYTHING.  No to the meats.  No to the ice cream.  No to the Produce.

Leaving the store:

All the same parking lot rules as entering the store.   In addition:

#13.  Do not beep at me when I am sitting at a red light arrow and it says "No Turn on Red Arrow".  Especially when I have seen 3 different people pulled over by the police for ignoring that sign.

Thank you.