SUBTITLE - THE TOP TWELVE WAYS THE DEERFIELD FAIR STUNK!
Our grandson Noah turned 9 this month. As per our usual, we wanted to take him out for a birthday adventure instead of buying a gift. Hubby thought he'd absolutely love a demolition derby. So we checked out what might be in our area. It seemed that all the derbies were at the Fall Fairs, so we checked around to see what might work for us.
The Spencer Fair, which is in central MA, had one. We planned on going, and Hurricane Harvey put the cabosh on that. Topsfield Fair had one (this is the fair Hubby and I usually go to) but we had a birthday party we had to attend on that day. So that left the Deerfield Fair, which we'd never been to.
So we made plans to go pick up Noah and his little sister Elsie (age 5) around 10 am, figuring we could enjoy the fair for a few hours and then see the demolition derby at 4pm. We left our house at 9am, as the kids are an hour away from us. We left the kids' house at 10:30, anticipating getting to the fair around 11:30.
1. When we were almost to the exit on Route 101, the traffic was backed up onto the highway. At this point I said to Hubby, "This is going to be a nightmare." And it was. We sat on that road, the only road leading into the fair, for THREE HOURS.
2. Along that route I had to pee so badly, I actually got out of the car and went and pee'd in the woods! I haven't done that for at least 15 years. (and hope to never have to do it again.)
3. We got to the fair at A QUARTER TO THREE! and of course, had to park a 1/2 mile from the gate.
When we entered the park I asked if we had to buy extra tickets for the demolition derby, as I hadn't seen anything on the website. I was told no, we didn't. I asked how early we should get there to get a seat and she said, "About a 1/2 hour".
We quickly whisked the kids through a couple of things (some sheep and a big pumpkin, and luckily, some construction trucks you could climb on.) We grabbed some "Fried Dough Blobs" ($7) to share and went down to the grandstands. (3:15).
4. They had ONE grandstand one ONE side of the demo derby area, and it was already filled with people! You could see empty spots, but every time you went near one we were told the seats were being "saved".
We stood in front of the fence but knew that when the derby started we'd have to move or the people in the seats would crucify us. Hubby noticed a couple of people standing around the other side and went to scout it out. He called my phone and said there was a small area where we could see the derby, so I grabbed the kids and hiked over there.
5. When I got there, I realized we were OUTSIDE the gate, but it would have to do. We stationed ourselves in front of the fence with a few other people to wait the 15 minutes for the derby to start. (3:45)
6. Surprise! They announced that the KIDS derby would start at 4:30 and the real derby would start at 5!! WTF? The derby is starting an hour later than it was supposed to? By this time, my patience was wearing very thin (I really have NO patience at all!). The kids were hungry so Hubby sent me to get a pizza.
7. I hiked over to the pizza wagon, and had to wait 15 minutes for a whole pizza which cost $25. (to be fair, I expected outrageous food prices.) I did NOT expect to be feeding my grand-babies pizza while standing in our spot in the parking lot against a fence waiting for the derby to start!
8. Finally, the kids derby started. Little kids in electric jeeps smacking into each other......as the guy said, "The future of our derby contestants." I felt bad because the parents of one of the kids was standing outside the fence with us because they couldn't get in to sit in the grandstand!
9. This one is the biggy, folks. Just as the regular derby was going to start, some A**HOLES came and stood right in front of us, inside the fence. So I started. " Excuse me, could you please move." Nothing. "EXCUSE ME, we can't see." Nothing. "HEY! Would you guys move? We've been standing here two hours and we want to see the derby!" One guy turns around, looks at us insolently, holds up his arm so we can see an orange bracelet, and says, "I paid to get in here." I. LOST. IT.
I went absolutely crazy. "MOVE! MOVE NOW! HEY GUY IN THE BLUE HAT! PLEASE MOVE! WE HAVE LITTLE KIDS HERE! HEY GUY IN THE RED COAT! PLEASE MOVE! HEY GIRL WITH THE BLACK JACKET! PLEASE MOVE! WE HAVE LITTLE KIDS! WE'VE BEEN WAITING TWO HOURS! And I just kept on and on and on. When Noah started screaming at them to move, and then started crying, I really felt bad, but it just spurred me on. Finally, I heard, "M'am, you need to stop." And behind me was a cop. So I unleashed on HIM. "WE WAITED THREE HOURS ON THE ROAD TO GET IN HERE, AND NOW WAITED TWO HOURS OUT HERE TO SEE THIS DERBY!" And on and on and on. But I finally shut up because I was afraid he'd drag me out of there in front of my grandkids!
10. Needless to say we saw a tiny bit of the derby. After the first "heat" we left. The joy had certainly gone out of the day, and we were all tired, discouraged, and just done with the whole thing.
11. And then, as Noah predicted, we could not find our car in the parking lot. In my zeal to get the kids into the fair after such a long ride, I hadn't checked to see the signpost that would tell us what row we parked in. We wandered around and around, ( remember the Seindfeld episode?) and finally split up. I walked all the way back to the fair, found the gate we came in, and tried to re-trace the way we'd come in and I finally found the car. I called Hubby and instructed him to go back up to the fair and pick a gate, call me back with the gate letter, and I would pick him up.
12. At this point, everyone was coming out as I was trying to get back in. I finally found Hubby and the kids. And then...........leaving the fair was twice as bad as coming in! We literally sat INSIDE the fairgrounds parking lot for AN HOUR AND A HALF inching our way bit by bit. We were on a main aisle and we watched as hundreds of cars poured out of the side aisles and cut in to get into the main aisle.
We drove the kids the hour to their home (9:30pm), then headed back to ours. I had been so furious that I hadn't eaten a thing all day. Hubby graciously stopped at McDonald's at my request where I ordered a quarter-pounder, large fries and chocolate shake. (I can count on one hand the times I've eaten McDonalds in the past ten years!)
Hubby and I should have known better. We avoid these things like the plague, and try to do all our sight-seeing, traveling and visiting in the off-season. I have no idea why we didn't see all the bright red flags saying "DON'T GO!" We were so intent on giving our grandson something fun to do on his birthday we ignored all the signs. Common sense would say that the Deerfield Fair should work harder at the traffic problems, and possibly pre-sell Derby tickets so there is a limit to the people who go to see it. But that's their problem.....I'll never go near that fair again!
We've offered our grandson another birthday adventure to make up for this very horrible day. I hope he takes us up on it, because the birthday adventure is supposed to give him, (and us!) fun memories of good times together.
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